


Loverboy

by Aminte



Series: A love that could be [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Insecurity, Introspective Gwaine, M/M, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:21:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aminte/pseuds/Aminte
Summary: How do you ask for a chance from someone who has already given you so many?
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Series: A love that could be [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935658
Comments: 2
Kudos: 109





	Loverboy

How do you ask for a chance from someone who has already given you so many?  
  
From someone who had gifted you with the first of them, the one that had changed everything: the chance to be better.  
  
It wasn’t that Merlin had given him a speech of how he was wasting his life (like so many had) or that he had demanded he changed his ways in order to stay.  
  
He had simply looked at him like he _believed in him_ , that he was more than a jokester drunkard that just happened to be good with a sword.  
  
Looked past the worn clothes, dyed with the dust of Albion’s roads, past the years of hardships and past the pains he hadn’t dared to speak about to anyone (oh but Merlin wasn’t just anyone, he had known that since they first met).  
  
Merlin had looked at him, pale blue eyes shining, as if he liked what he saw. As if he was gazing upon someone worthy, valuable.  
  
No one had ever looked at him like that.  
  
So he had tried his best to live up to Merlin’s baseless faith and had , surprisingly, ended up saving Arthur Pendragon’s life.  
  
Sure, Uther had banished him for his troubles but Merlin’s face, brimming with feeling (admiration? pride? gratitude?) and the tightness of their farewell hug made it worth it.  
  
Merlin had kept in touch, somehow managing to reach him no matter where he went in his travels.  
  
And whenever he had asked for help, well, Gwaine couldn’t deny him.  
  
Then, Merlin had offered him the second chance: to become a knight.  
  
Yes, it was Arthur who had knighted him, but everyone knew that it was Merlin who had, once again, interceded for him.  
  
Once he had properly established in Camelot, Merlin kept giving him chances.  
  
To prove his strenght. His honour. His bravery.  
  
To show kindness, to develop friendships, to smile and laugh not as a decoy but as expressions of joy.  
  
Chances to feel again.  
  
He had been given so much and yet, he wasn’t satisfied.  
  
He already had Merlin’s friendship, his trust (which he didn’t give freely) and as much of his time as he could spare since Arthur tried his very best to keep the servant to himself.  
  
How could he ask for more?  
  
He had tried to convince himself he was being greedy, that he should let go.  
  
But he kept craving, kept wanting.  
  
To be the one to know his secrets, the thoughts that haunted him at night. To be able to hold him when he felt like breaking down. To warm his perpetually cold hands with his own.  
  
To show him pleasure and to share his pains.  
  
To give, to take.  
  
To share the feeling that seemed to be slowly consuming him from the inside, seizing him until all he could do was surrender to it.  
  
 _Let me be your lover._  
  
 _Let me be with you._  
  
 _Let me be your loverboy._  
  
 _I promise that I’ll always be true._  
  
But he didn’t dare to ask.  
  
Merlin was...special. And had his fair share of admirers.  
  
And there was Arthur too.  
  
It was no secret how devoted they were to each other.  
  
What could he offer Merlin? He was no king.  
  
“Merlin doesn’t care about that” Lancelot had told him firmly “and neither should you”  
  
What to do.  
  
Could he be happy without taking a leap of faith, watching as Merlin chose someone else?  
  
No.  
  
He couldn’t.

* * *

  
“What are we doing here?” asked Merlin looking at his surroundings  
  
The lakeside was tinted silver by the moonlight and the lake rippled slowly with the passing breeze.  
  
“I wanted to talk to you” he said, voice raspy with the sudden dryness of his throat  
  
Merlin turned from staring at the lake, a small frown creasing his forehead.  
  
“Is everything alright?”  
  
Gwaine swallowed and straightened his posture, making the effort to move those last steps that separated them and tentatively taking Merlin’s hands in his.  
  
“ I wanted to ask you something. Something I might not have the right to, but I want to ask anyways” he gripped the servant’s hands tighter as he let out a mirthless chuckle “Seems like I can’t stop being selfish after all”  
  
“You’re not selfish” Merlin reprimanded him, squeezing his fingers “You are one of the most noble, selfless people I’ve ever met. Don’t talk about yourself that way”  
  
Gwaine stared at him, overwhelmed by all the things he wanted to say.  
  
“Please be mine” he sputtered clumsily “ Please, I— Merlin, you—you are everything to me. And, I, I don’t have the sort of pretty words you like, I don’t know any poetry, but I do know this...I love you. Others...they gave up on me and I was alright with that, to moving too fast. But I want to be with you, to be your lover. Give me a chance. I can’t promise you that you won’t regret it but I swear I’ll try my best to be the man you deserve...and I—-“  
  
Merlin interrupted his helpless babbling with his lips.  
  
It was a simple peck but somehow managed to stun him into silence.  
  
“Oh Gwaine” said Merlin resting his forehead against his, smile undeniably fond “ You already are the man I deserve. The one I love. I don’t think I could give an eloquent speech like yours but that is the truth. I want no one else as my lover”  
  
He felt he could soar, he felt so light.  
  
A laugh escaped his lips and he kissed Merlin , grabbed him by the waist and spun him around just to kiss him again.  
  
They kept kissing and laughing and whispering sweet nothings and heartfelt promises under the watchful gaze of the stars.  
  
This was a once in a lifetime chance, after all.  
  
The chance to love and be loved in return.


End file.
